The reason FXP will work fine is because it's probably using your server in active (PORT) mode so the server is making outgoing FTP connections instead of listening for incoming...
Why don't you test your router's forwarding to see if that's the problem. You can try a number of things, pick one of the forwarded ports and setup uTorrent on that and in it's menu try the test port option or whatever it has. Same thing is possible with FTP clients, setup port range on forwarded ports and try to use active (PORT) mode connections from a remote FTP server to see if that works for directory listings using list -al. If things like that work then you probably have the ports forwarded OK.
Another HUGE issue you might have is with a firewall. Are you running a software firewall (including window's builtin one?). If you are make sure you allow incoming connections. A lot of firewalls allow outgoing by default but you need to explicitly allow incoming so that might be the problem as well.
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