The IP to connect to from FlashFXP is whatever you have set the xbox to use on the dashboard. I'm not really sure from your comments if this is 192.168.04 or 192.168.0.100. When you can't connect try opening a dos prompt and pinging the IP address to check you can see the device.
One thing to note, when you are connecting from your computer to a switch/router to the xbox you need normal network cables, when you connect from your computer straight to the xbox you will need to be using a crossover cable.
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